Turning 60

Tonight you’re mine completely. You give your love so sweetly. Tonight the light of love is in your eyes, but will you love me tomorrow?

Carol King

How did this happen? I can’t be 60!

Sixty is the venerable, senior generation – not the young, hip, break-the-rules crowd I grew up with. We were taught to show respect to Sixty, all the while rolling our eyes whenever one of these well-meaning, hopeless dolts demonstrated that she was clueless about the really important things in life—like good music, politics, relationships, and what to wear to a ballet.

How did I become one of THEM?

Sixty can’t name a single song on iTunes top download list. Sixty is the target audience for those pathetic TV ads for Viagra, adult diapers, and reverse mortgages. Sixty is more concerned about his own property tax rates than quality education for (other people’s) kids. Sixty can’t remember how a joke goes two minutes into the telling of it. Sixty is the loyal first wife that her graying husband leaves for the newer, shinier model. Sixty is the panicked middle manager who prays that the latest downsizing round will pass him by. Surely I can’t be 60!

OK, I exaggerate. A little. The Godzilla-sized boomer generation has redefined what it means to be 60. Indeed, our market power has allowed us to state convincingly that “sixty is the new forty.” We are healthier, more active and engaged in life than the generations preceding us. We have lots of role models who look FABULOUS and exude a vitality to match their great looks.

Some weeks ago, I wrote a blog about Going Gray featuring pictures of my friends and relatives who have embraced their true hair color and inspired more positive reader comments than any of our other blogs. I too was inspired and allowed myself to revel in the notion of aging gracefully.

But that was before my 60th birthday. Crossing that threshold this week shook me up in ways I didn’t anticipate. Even my wonderful husband who is 21 years older than I and who always referred to me as the “young chick” couldn’t resist this teasing question: “How did you get to be 60?”

Deciding to take stock, I’m sitting here with my laptop, reflecting on the blessings and challenges that come with the territory of turning 60. When I look at the list of downsides honestly, I have to admit that they are mere annoyances rather than serious issues. Sure I wish I didn’t pee when I sneeze. It’s discouraging to enter a meeting room or a party where almost everyone is younger than you—when you remember being the bright, young, cute one who lit up the room.

I’d prefer not to have to spend so much time and money on physical maintenance just to stay even. As my friend Bea says so eloquently, “If you were a refrigerator, you could just buy a new one.” Illnesses seem to last longer and be more debilitating. (See my blog on my bout with Shingles  that threw me for a loop for almost a month).

On the other hand, I am blessed with a wonderful husband, a remarkable son, stepchildren and grandkids who seem to like me, loving family, and an ever expanding group on wonderful friends. My health (touch wood) is good and besides, how can I complain when I’m already 11 years older than my mother was when she died?!

I was fortunate to be able to retire at 55 while still young enough to pursue other passions. I keep my mind and soul engaged with interesting pursuits, like my weekly Torah class with the best group of women in the world and the board of Center Dance Arts, making L.A. a vibrant center for world-class dance. Then there’s my writing with Susan. Our book, Changing Lanes, along with our weekly blogs, have allowed me to discover and nurture a creative side to me that I didn’t know existed.

So NUTS to turning 60 and concerning myself with the little annoyances that come with that privilege! What’s important to me at this point is to make the best use of my time. It’s too precious to waste on nonsense. I want to focus on my family, my friends, and giving back in a meaningful way for all the blessings I’ve received.

You can too, if you look upon reaching this milestone as a gift. One that reminds you to accept it gracefully and pay it forward

For more ideas about midlife renewal, pick up our book, Changing Lanes (Radom Press, 2008). 

Share your stories about how you fear or welcome turning the Big 6-0. We and our readers would love to hear from you. If you’ve made it through this process with some wisdom and grace, we’d love to learn how you did it.                       

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