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Dealing with Weighty Issues

Posted by: Susan Marshall   |   Posted in: Cross Generational Experiences, Personal resources, Susan's Musings
Monday, June 02, 2008

 

You don't sweat much for a fat girl.

My weight goes up, it goes down, but then it’s up again. No bell curve, no modest sine wave, just a steady trend up a few pounds every year or so. Now, at 57, I find it harder and harder to stay at a desirable weight. What’s a girl to do?

Well, for one thing, I’ve decided to maintain a blog on the topic and my personal journey. This is the first such blog. I only have one request….help me by sharing your thoughts and personal experiences.

Throughout my adult life, I’ve drawn on multiple strategies when responding to my weight gains. Generally, the approaches I took were sensible. Eat less, exercise more. Then I resorted to a variety of “diets.” Atkins®. Eat Right for Your Blood Type®. The Best Life Diet®. The Fat Flush Plan®. None have kept my weight in check.

As way of background, I was trim as I was growing up and didn’t gain any weight until college….the ol’ “college 15.” So I began the 70’s married and heavier than I’d like, but then ended the decade in string bikinis while I played two-man volleyball on the beaches of Southern California. During the 80’s, my career took off and the pounds came back. All those business dinners, airport food caught on the run, and hard-to-find slivers of exercise time—my work ethic drove me to put my job first instead of taking care of myself.

It’s during this time that I first heard “you don’t sweat much for a fat girl.” I was probably 40 pounds lighter than I am now. At a retreat sponsored by my management consulting firm, a group of us trekked up a trail to the conference center. A respected male consultant, senior to me and at least 25 pounds overweight, blurted that lovely phrase—which amazingly, he said he meant as a compliment. 

Was it misogyny or sexism? It hardly matters now, but it played into the lack of confidence I’ve always had regarding my body. As many of my friends can attest, I’ll share my age before I’ll ever share my weight. I just don’t go there.

Moving to Colorado in 1990 connected me to nature in a wondrous way—I began to regularly hike and walk, and periodically worked out in the gym and played racquetball. As I think about it, it seems that I’ve always been more physically active than most of the other women I know. And I’m the only one in my family to exercise regularly.

This makes the issue with my weight all the more confounding.

Since leaving the corporate world at the end of 2002, I’ve gained about 25 pounds. The first 4 pounds came slowly. Jumping into action, I acquired a personal trainer and bumped up my regiment.

Then, when Rick moved in 14 months before we married, we each gained about 10 pounds by the time we said “I do.” We called them our “love pounds.” “I love you! Let’s have some ice cream.” “You’re the best and I show you I care by sending you chocolates and cookies.” Have I mentioned that one of my vices is ice cream? 

To tell you the truth, I wasn’t panicked. I also had gone through more than two years of back problems that prevented me from exercising as much as I would have like, but I now had the condition under control. It requires me to go to a pain specialist every 8-9 months for a lumbar rhizotomy, which is the surgical severance of spinal nerve roots. They grow back. Go figure.

With the pain under control, I honestly thought the weight would just flow off easily. Refer back to “eat less, exercise more" strategy. And yes, I knew my metabolism was slowing down each and every year

This is when the unimaginable happened…..I gained 10 more pounds!! What is going on here?

I keep a food diary periodically, so I knew that the foods I consumed approximated 1600-2000 calories a day.  No problems there, so I went back to my daily exercise log for the last four months, which I’ll share here:

• February: An average of 2 hours of yoga and 3 hours of snowshoeing or walking each week.
• March: Yoga is now consuming 4.5 hours each week and snowshoeing is down to 2 hours a week (yes, I was so sick of snow by this time…after all, we were reporting 450 inches and still counting!)
• April: Two and a half hours each of yoga and walking or hiking.
• May: Yeah, spring!! I’m now outside walking or hiking 3.5 hours a week and maintaining my yoga practice at 2.5 hours/week.

By the way, all of these activities occur at altitude; we live at almost 8500 feet!

I don’t weight myself very regularly, but I knew I was in trouble when the pants I wore to a book signing in January didn’t fit me in April. Even though I passed my husband’s company’s health fitness test with flying colors. And, no, I don’t have a thyroid problem. That test also came back with great results.

In the last two months, I’ve started calling myself fat. It drives Rick crazy because he likes my body. No pre-conditions exist. (Great husband, huh?!)

But it’s true. I feel fat. I look fat, even though my friends said I’m “muscular.” No, I am fat.

So here’s my plan. I’m going to a nutritionist/dietician later this week. I’m still filling out the nine page intake survey required before my first appointment with her. I’ll keep you updated with my progress with her. Am I intolerant of gluten, like my friend Jean Duane was? If its only that easy to pin my problem to a chemical culprit.

We had friends over for dinner a couple nights ago and we all starting bemoaning our mid-age spread. But one friend shared his weight loss tactic….and he swears by it. I’ll tell you more about it in my next blog!

 

I feel better now that I’ve shared my predicament. And I’m willing to listen to any and all suggestions. What have your weight gain or weight loss experiences been? Did you gain or lose significant weight when you retired? Unburden yourself as I did—it may help you feel lighter.

 

 

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