Shoot me before I volunteer again!

Won’t you help me cure this overload? Won’t you help me cure this overload? Won’t...yeh! 

Tom Jones

My Six-Word Memoir.

Back in May, Susan posted a blog entitled My Six Word Memoir which was inspired by a funny piece she had heard on NPR. They were reporting on a project in which the editors of the storytelling magazine, SMITH, challenged its readers to write their life stories in six words. Susan came up with “I laughed until my sides hurt” (or the more colorful “I laughed and peed my pants.”)

Well it’s only taken me seven months to come up with my six word memoir:
                                          Shoot me before I volunteer again.

I admit that I’ve never been great at time management and that I’ve struggled  mightily to focus on my highest priorities so that I wouldn’t always feel as though I was robbing Peter to pay Paul. But as part the process of Changing Lanes, I worked on this problem hard and long, and even reported in our book that I had wrestled it to the ground. To illustrate, here’s an excerpt from a Travel Tip in our very first chapter:

“Eventually, I extricated myself from the commitments that consumed my time. I’ve learned how to say ‘no’ to others. Slowly but surely, I worked through the decision-making process to winnow my activities down to the ones that mean the most to me and also work well in combination.” 

I lied.

I cannot believe how completely overwhelmed I am feeling right now. I’m retired, godammit—I’m supposed to be all mellow and energized by my newfound freedom to do as I choose. To be what I want to be. Instead I feel exhausted and scattered. How did this happen?

Where shall I start? Well, I am president of Center Dance Arts, lead sponsor of dance at the Music Center in Los Angeles. Our mission is to make Los Angeles a prominent center for world-class dance and to bring the wonder of this amazing art form to the underserved kids in our community. So, first thing on my plate the past few months has been organizing our first Nutcracker presentation in 17 years—the Kirov Ballet’s Nutcracker, no less. Even in these sorry economic times, we decided to host a family-friendly party and managed to raise some much needed funds for our dance program. Can’t complain about this—the ballet was glorious, and we sold out the house each performance to delighted audiences full of wide-eyed kids dressed in their holiday finery. It did my heart good. 

Meanwhile, I’m also leading an effort to bring a dance company to Los Angeles to be resident at the Music Center and other venues in our far-flung region. Very exciting stuff and very gratifying, but it takes lots of time and lots of patience--two things Idon’t seem to have in abundance.

Also, I’m promoting our book and continue to write here as well as for other publications. We’ve participated in lots of webinars, business meetings, conferences and conference calls. In parallel, Susan and I are preparing for Book #2 and collecting our thoughts, ideas, as well as stories of change artists who continue to inspire us. It’s all good.

Then there’s the mutual fund board I serve on as a director. The work is interesting, especially during this financial crisis, so I can’t kick about all the prep work that’s required to stay on top of everything.

I’m also a member of several organizations in our community that do good in various ways and whose missions I am proud to support. The alphabet soup of ATS, SHARE, OWE, POW, BTW, BACC—yeah, it’s all good. But honestly, it’s also getting to be too much.

My husband isn’t retired (even though he’s 81, he still goes into the office most days where he works as an appellate lawyer, God bless him), so it falls to me to take care of the bills, our social and travel arrangements, presents for the family, and taking care of our dog. Recently, I found myself in the AT&T store, desperately trying to get them to diagnose what was wrong with my new iPhone, only to discover that I hadn’t paid our bill. This just goes to show you how on top of things I am.

When my laptop went on the fritz last week, my first thought (right after the one about throwing the damn thing out the window) was that I was going to drown—a very scary notion for me since I can’t swim. But wait, I brought it into the Geek Squad and a week later I’m up and running again with only half my life lost in the process.

The AHA! moment came to me yesterday when I tried to print out our boarding passes for our flights the next morning to Utah where we and most of the family congregates each year for a holiday ski vacation. Southwest Airlines rejected our check-in, noting that our reservations were more than 24 hours ahead of my request. It seems I had the wrong day for our departure. We’re not leaving till tomorrow!

I felt I had gotten a gift from God. A whole day to breathe deeply and catch up on my runaway life! Furthermore, I had recognized my situation for what it is: commitment overload—similar to carbohydrate overload in a funny way. It too can make you lose sleep, feel bloated, behave badly, and generally make you wish you were someone else.

New Year’s Day can’t come fast enough for me. I intend to make some serious resolutions about taking control of my time and managing it better. I will finally learn to say “no” and mean it.

Watch me.

For more on this issue of avoiding the “pig-out” phase of Changing Lanes, check out our book and if you recognize this troubling attribute in yourself, please share your story with us. We and our readers would love to hear from you.

Comments

*Name	*Email
*Comment
*For security, enter the word you see below