Is it safe to go outside?

I’ve never seen a night so long when time goes crawling by, the moon just went behind a cloud to hide its face and cry. 

Hank Williams

If I hold my breath long enough….

OK, I’ll admit it…I’m officially freaked out.

My current condition started in September as a sense of disgust and fear, ever growing as a lump in the back of my throat. How could our financial system be collapsing? How could it behave like a fallen soufflé after I had retired and needed my investments to subsist?

But wait, the election was just around the corner. Certainly the new president (and I had hoped it would be Mr. Obama) would take immediate and strong steps to staunch the flow of red ink in the public financial markets and gently wipe the tears from my eyes. A girl can only hope, can’t she?

But then, just weeks after the election, Bernie Madoff “happened.” I was one of the lucky ones. After all, some people lost their entire life savings. There are 78 year old men reduced to borrowing money from their children and trying to find jobs. Perhaps, I told myself, I should be satisfied with my financial situation just the way it is. After all, it doesn’t appear that our two political parties are going to play nice long enough to make a difference any time soon.

Don’t open the financial statements. Wait until the market rebounds, then look at them. I was the turtle—not the version we promote in our book, the one that sticks its neck out to move forward. Rather, I became the type that retreated by pulling its head into its shell while repeating “la la la” over and over. None of this was made easier because we had already scheduled and partially paid for two bridge-related trips before the year was over.

Let me pause and give you some background. When I retired, I did so primarily because I found myself without a job, but with a small (this is the operative term) pile of money and a desire to live a fairly simple life. There wasn’t really a conflict for me. If I wanted to continue to travel to exotic locations, I would have continued working. Given that I had already stepped foot on all seven continents, I held hiking, snow shoeing, yoga, community service, and bridge in higher esteem.

“Wait,” you say, “since retiring and writing Changing Lanes, Susan, you’ve married.” Yes, but my husband is far from being my sugar daddy. He had to take a 60% pay cut to live with me in paradise. And for another 18 months, he continues to pay alimony and child support. And I love him for being strong enough to make the decision he did. He was willing to live simply—with me.

So what’s my situation today? Well, first I had to realize that I’ve been suffering from depression. After all, I haven’t blogged for over two months…a fact noticed by my friend, Leslie, who recently sent me an email titled “unblog?”  Clearly my melancholy has been the result of feeling so helpless. So my remedy is to “get unstuck.”

I have an appointment with my financial advisor in two weeks. I realize that I’ve jumped to many conclusions—some might resemble reality, others probably don’t. Like in the business world, I need to get all the facts.

Those facts are likely (I’m guessing) to suggest that, to sustain our lifestyle, we need to cut back on some discretionary spending and/or find other sources of income. That will mean that traveling the U.S. with Jane in hopes of writing a second book is off limits. It probably doesn’t mean eating pasta every night.

On the income side of our P&L, I’m looking at getting involved with the 2010 Census efforts. I’ve always been curious as to the inner workings of government and although I suspect the experience can be likened to watching sausage being made, I think I’m up to the challenge!

Our situation isn’t as bad as many. We don’t have a mortgage or car payments. And we don’t have huge credit card bills to pay off. I consider us lucky when I think of all the people losing their jobs and their homes.

I do have confidence that things will sort themselves out…for me, for those in a very difficult spot right now, and for our nation. Unfortunately, it looks like we are in for a long ride. I hope that by making the best choices possible, each of us can endure.

What are your experiences with regard to this financial crisis? Do you have advise you can offer others?

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